SOPH I LOVE THIS. First of all, I don't think you sound boring at all, cosying up with a book, a big cup of tea and a homemade slice of cake is my idea of a great night. I feel like we're kindred spirits, I've never been someone who likes going out drinking, travelling, I've never had the craving to move to London and make it big. I'm very much a homebody who craves stability, and understand 100% how anxiety inducing it can be to see friends/people you grew up with hitting milestones before you've even considered them. A year ago I felt really stressed that my job wasn't good enough in comparison to my friends who all have quite big and impressive careers, but a year on and I feel really happy and comfortable with where I am because it's MY idea of happiness that matters. It's such a unique and precious thing. You'll never feel comfortable squeezing into someone else's shoes! Thank you for being so open in this piece, I loved loved loved it ❤️
Ella thank you so much for this comment 🥺 You’re too sweet!
You’re so right, we’re definitely kindred spirits.
I love that you’ve recognised that it’s YOUR happiness you want to go after rather than the expectations of others! I’m still working on it but I’m slowly getting there and feeling less uncomfortable with it too.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for your amazing support, as always 🫶
I feel this so much!! I used to be a bit of a party girl but slowed down in my mid-twenties because I felt wholly dissatisfied. I am now in my late twenties and I'm the quiet person I was always meant to be. Having experienced both sides I can confirm that listening to your body and not always saying yes to everything (which is a toxic trait I had to combat) is definitely the superior choice!
FOMO creeps up on my at times, but in those moments I try not to focus of what others think of me not being there but instead on how I perceive myself or wish to.
Yesss I’m still working on not saying yes to everything! Thank you so much for your comment Nora. I was definitely a partier in my late teens and now, like you, I think I’m where I’m meant to be 🫶
Here’s to listening to our bodies and enjoying those quiet moments!
The fact that all of that is YOUR idea of heaven, is enough. And by the way, it all is a slice of heaven because feeling creative, having those chilled weekends, reading, loving on your partner, that’s what life is about. Being content. If you were meant to be in London, single, or doing a number of different things - you would be. Where you’re at is perfection
I loved this so much, i think life gets a lot easier when you just accept who you are and what you like. I’m trying to do this more (and pieces like this help) ❤️
Back in January I made an "Ins and Outs" list as part of my resolution. I'll have to make another and include ALL the bulleted lists. It's time to take care of myself wholeheartedly and without guilt. I consider September to be New Years #2, no better time to do this than now :)
i love this so much -- intentionally reflecting on the practices that truly make us happy, separating ourselves from what we think we "should" be doing, is so important and is what results in the long-term fulfillment we are seeking.
i find nothing more enjoyable than curling up on the couch watching tv // reading a good book :)
I feel this piece so much. People always want you to be moving or achieving - like what if I'm content where I'm at? I did a lot of partying in my teens and early twenties so I feel no need to go out unless a meal is involved and I'm okay with that. Embrace who you are! ❤️
i relate to this so much ! my boyfriend and i have moved to the city to save for a year before going travelling again, and i haven’t made any new friends or done anything particularly exciting since we moved in four months ago… and i’m kind of fine with that?? but i find myself feeling really guilty, even though my idea of a relaxing weekend (or one day weekend, as i work sundays), is chilling in the flat with my boyfriend. this spoke volumes to me, thank you for writing it!!💗💗
i think so too!❤️ we’re not sure yet, we want to explore portugal and switzerland and then maybe fly further to australia/new zealand to visit family… think we will make it up as we go along🤣
Thanks for sharing this. It's not boring at all, in fact, whenever the "how was your weekend" conversation crops up in the office on Mondays, I always cheer with "that sounds so lovely and peaceful" to anyone having a similar weekend plan as yours. Me too, my nervous system thrives in stability and somewhat predictability. I love pottering about the house, so baking, reading, and other mundane tasks are my absolute source of joy.
Thank you so much for your comment! You’re absolutely right, I respond the same way when people tell me they’ve been doing these lovely things. I’m so glad you enjoy these peaceful tasks too <3
I loved this post - it was SO Substack coded (which is why I feel I’ve finally found the social platform for me). Every weekend my husband goes out to play football and have drinks with his team, and I never ever ever make Saturday plans because my idea of a great weekend is one sat on the sofa, with a good book, cup of something warm, and maybe a little treat I baked (or - more likely - picked up in tescos but who’s counting 😂). An entire weekend with not a single social plan is like crack for me these days. Definitely in my 30s. Definitely don’t give a shit!
Thank you so much! I absolutely loooove this for you!!! And I love that your husband goes and does his thing too. I’m so excited for a night in tomorrow with Strictly and some snacks 🤣
Soph, this fear of missing the other happens even when you achieve those socially appreciated things. A mother of toddlers wishes she could have a chance of traveling solo. The solo girl can envy wish I could have a kid who loves me back unconditionally. It keeps going on till the moment we wake up to What We Have.
I love your idea of knowing what is heaven to you. Makes me want to think mine. It’s mostly being around my kid, reading, writing, painting and baking.
I love this! You’re so right, all of us have the mindset of “the grass is greener elsewhere” and sometimes we just need to pause and think about what really matters to us.
Thank you so much for sharing those important things to you, they all sound wonderful ❤️
Wow Sophie, this was beautiful. I genuinely think one of the keys to happiness is learning to love your own life and living in a way that is authentic to our individual wants and needs. I’m in my 30s and sadly there are still a lot of people I know who are deeply trying to achieve some sort of external standard for their lives - let’s just say I know a lot of Londoners - and it makes me so sad to see the crazy pressure they put on themselves!
Thank you sooo much for such a lovely comment! I love the term "external standards", it's so sad people care more about what others think of them than what they think of themselves!
it's tough to live in an extrovert's world, but it's also so sweet that you've recognised that your way is not inferior. i remember reading the happiness project by gretchen rubin where she talks about how she's wistful that she'll never be someone who (i'm paraphrasing) is stylish or enjoys going out. this world has so much to offer and it is wistful that we can't have it all, but ultimately what matters is that you're happy. our twenties are so romanticized but maybe we should romanticize personal happiness instead? lovely read <3
Wait. Hang on. Whose life is this we’re talking about? Yours? Then surely it’s up to you and it sounds bloody marvellous. Go for it. Give that annoying voice in your ear a little slap and keep enjoying every moment 😁
SOPH I LOVE THIS. First of all, I don't think you sound boring at all, cosying up with a book, a big cup of tea and a homemade slice of cake is my idea of a great night. I feel like we're kindred spirits, I've never been someone who likes going out drinking, travelling, I've never had the craving to move to London and make it big. I'm very much a homebody who craves stability, and understand 100% how anxiety inducing it can be to see friends/people you grew up with hitting milestones before you've even considered them. A year ago I felt really stressed that my job wasn't good enough in comparison to my friends who all have quite big and impressive careers, but a year on and I feel really happy and comfortable with where I am because it's MY idea of happiness that matters. It's such a unique and precious thing. You'll never feel comfortable squeezing into someone else's shoes! Thank you for being so open in this piece, I loved loved loved it ❤️
Ella thank you so much for this comment 🥺 You’re too sweet!
You’re so right, we’re definitely kindred spirits.
I love that you’ve recognised that it’s YOUR happiness you want to go after rather than the expectations of others! I’m still working on it but I’m slowly getting there and feeling less uncomfortable with it too.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for your amazing support, as always 🫶
I feel this so much!! I used to be a bit of a party girl but slowed down in my mid-twenties because I felt wholly dissatisfied. I am now in my late twenties and I'm the quiet person I was always meant to be. Having experienced both sides I can confirm that listening to your body and not always saying yes to everything (which is a toxic trait I had to combat) is definitely the superior choice!
FOMO creeps up on my at times, but in those moments I try not to focus of what others think of me not being there but instead on how I perceive myself or wish to.
Yesss I’m still working on not saying yes to everything! Thank you so much for your comment Nora. I was definitely a partier in my late teens and now, like you, I think I’m where I’m meant to be 🫶
Here’s to listening to our bodies and enjoying those quiet moments!
The fact that all of that is YOUR idea of heaven, is enough. And by the way, it all is a slice of heaven because feeling creative, having those chilled weekends, reading, loving on your partner, that’s what life is about. Being content. If you were meant to be in London, single, or doing a number of different things - you would be. Where you’re at is perfection
Kathleen 🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much for this! It’s absolutely what I needed to hear 🫶
It's like you've written from my mind, I really understand and feel this 100%. Thank you <3
Oh thank you so much 🥺 I’m so pleased you found it relatable! I hope this has helped you in some way 🫶
I loved this so much, i think life gets a lot easier when you just accept who you are and what you like. I’m trying to do this more (and pieces like this help) ❤️
Thank you so much Ellen! 🥰 You’re so right, since recognising what I like and don’t like I’ve definitely found things easier 🩷
Back in January I made an "Ins and Outs" list as part of my resolution. I'll have to make another and include ALL the bulleted lists. It's time to take care of myself wholeheartedly and without guilt. I consider September to be New Years #2, no better time to do this than now :)
🥺 I love this! You’ve totally inspired me to do an “ins and outs” in January too.
Make that list and love yourself unconditionally!!!
i love this so much -- intentionally reflecting on the practices that truly make us happy, separating ourselves from what we think we "should" be doing, is so important and is what results in the long-term fulfillment we are seeking.
i find nothing more enjoyable than curling up on the couch watching tv // reading a good book :)
Oh thank you so much! If I did what I think most people my age are/”should” be doing I’d be very, very miserable.
Curling up with a book or a good TV show is one of my favourite things too!
I feel this piece so much. People always want you to be moving or achieving - like what if I'm content where I'm at? I did a lot of partying in my teens and early twenties so I feel no need to go out unless a meal is involved and I'm okay with that. Embrace who you are! ❤️
Thank you so much! I 100% agree with you - going out for food with friends is so much more enjoyable nowadays.
i relate to this so much ! my boyfriend and i have moved to the city to save for a year before going travelling again, and i haven’t made any new friends or done anything particularly exciting since we moved in four months ago… and i’m kind of fine with that?? but i find myself feeling really guilty, even though my idea of a relaxing weekend (or one day weekend, as i work sundays), is chilling in the flat with my boyfriend. this spoke volumes to me, thank you for writing it!!💗💗
Ahh thanks for sharing Ellie! It’s such a tough balance isn’t it? I think as long as you’re happy that’s all that matters!
Where are you hoping to go travelling to?
i think so too!❤️ we’re not sure yet, we want to explore portugal and switzerland and then maybe fly further to australia/new zealand to visit family… think we will make it up as we go along🤣
Oh that sounds incredible! Love the idea of just making it up, that sounds soooo freeing <3
Thanks for sharing this. It's not boring at all, in fact, whenever the "how was your weekend" conversation crops up in the office on Mondays, I always cheer with "that sounds so lovely and peaceful" to anyone having a similar weekend plan as yours. Me too, my nervous system thrives in stability and somewhat predictability. I love pottering about the house, so baking, reading, and other mundane tasks are my absolute source of joy.
Thank you so much for your comment! You’re absolutely right, I respond the same way when people tell me they’ve been doing these lovely things. I’m so glad you enjoy these peaceful tasks too <3
fellow sober girly! I loved this post 🫶 totally relate
Ahh thanks Layla! Glad you could resonate <3
I loved this post - it was SO Substack coded (which is why I feel I’ve finally found the social platform for me). Every weekend my husband goes out to play football and have drinks with his team, and I never ever ever make Saturday plans because my idea of a great weekend is one sat on the sofa, with a good book, cup of something warm, and maybe a little treat I baked (or - more likely - picked up in tescos but who’s counting 😂). An entire weekend with not a single social plan is like crack for me these days. Definitely in my 30s. Definitely don’t give a shit!
Thank you so much! I absolutely loooove this for you!!! And I love that your husband goes and does his thing too. I’m so excited for a night in tomorrow with Strictly and some snacks 🤣
Soph, this fear of missing the other happens even when you achieve those socially appreciated things. A mother of toddlers wishes she could have a chance of traveling solo. The solo girl can envy wish I could have a kid who loves me back unconditionally. It keeps going on till the moment we wake up to What We Have.
I love your idea of knowing what is heaven to you. Makes me want to think mine. It’s mostly being around my kid, reading, writing, painting and baking.
I love this! You’re so right, all of us have the mindset of “the grass is greener elsewhere” and sometimes we just need to pause and think about what really matters to us.
Thank you so much for sharing those important things to you, they all sound wonderful ❤️
Wow Sophie, this was beautiful. I genuinely think one of the keys to happiness is learning to love your own life and living in a way that is authentic to our individual wants and needs. I’m in my 30s and sadly there are still a lot of people I know who are deeply trying to achieve some sort of external standard for their lives - let’s just say I know a lot of Londoners - and it makes me so sad to see the crazy pressure they put on themselves!
Thank you sooo much for such a lovely comment! I love the term "external standards", it's so sad people care more about what others think of them than what they think of themselves!
it's tough to live in an extrovert's world, but it's also so sweet that you've recognised that your way is not inferior. i remember reading the happiness project by gretchen rubin where she talks about how she's wistful that she'll never be someone who (i'm paraphrasing) is stylish or enjoys going out. this world has so much to offer and it is wistful that we can't have it all, but ultimately what matters is that you're happy. our twenties are so romanticized but maybe we should romanticize personal happiness instead? lovely read <3
Thank you so much for such a lovely comment! This book sounds amazing. You’re so right, happiness really is the most important thing 🫶
Wait. Hang on. Whose life is this we’re talking about? Yours? Then surely it’s up to you and it sounds bloody marvellous. Go for it. Give that annoying voice in your ear a little slap and keep enjoying every moment 😁
Thank you Helen, I really needed a comment like this!! ❤️