What if I want to be like the other girls?

A love letter to women

Hiii! Just a quick foreword for this post. I use a lot of feminine stereotypes here. All of these apply to me and I do this on purpose to make my point, but I want to apologise in advance if anyone finds it offensive. This was absolutely not my intention <3

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You’re not like the other girls.

2000s rom-coms have a lot to answer for because they had me thinking – for most of my childhood and teen years – that this was the ultimate compliment to receive from a man.

I wanted so badly to be different. I didn’t wear makeup, was super sporty, and just didn’t want to be like “the other girls”. It was the worst thing I could be. I didn’t even know why, it’s just what I’d been taught.

God, how wrong and naive I was.

Now, I want to be just like the other women around me.

I want to roll out of bed and do my seven-step skincare routine and make a matcha latte to set myself up for the day.

I want to get into my car and play my silly little podcast or a playlist that’s just titled a variety of emojis.

I want to get home and look forward to my evening shows, especially if there’s a good bit of trash TV on.

I want to gossip and worry about my nails and burn scented candles and have a handbag full of a zillion lip products and receipts.

Some of my favourite representations of womanhood

For me, being surrounded by women I can relate to and support is one of the most incredible things I could do in this world. I’m constantly in awe of my friends who are starting their own companies, buying houses, becoming mothers, travelling, or just being unapologetically them. Gone are the days where I’d wince as girls talked about their Dream Matte Mousse in the school bathrooms (IYKYK), instead I dive headfirst into the previously-hated girl talk and share my thoughts and experiences too.

I appreciate that all of these things are huge stereotypes, and of course not all of us are interested in them or have similar tastes, but my point is I want to get on board.

New Netflix show one of my girls is recommending? Best believe I’m binge-watching it.

If I’m unsure what nail design to go for next? My Pinterest board is instantly going to my bestie or, in fact, my nail tech herself.

A new selfie’s cropped up on a gal pal’s Insta? That flame emoji is going wild.

I love women. I love supporting women. I love seeing glimpses of myself in other women.

And, surprise surprise, we are so much more than those stereotypes. My stepmum and I can talk for hours about psychology and the human ego; my best friend can design and make jewellery from scratch; a close friend built her company, with another woman, from nothing in the middle of the pandemic.

I was brought up by a pop culture that taught me the worst thing I could be in this world was a woman who blended in with other women. To be less feminine was to be more appealing to men, and to shit on other women was the best thing you could do.

I’ve had close female friends my entire life, and I was never about putting others down for my gain (AKA: I wouldn’t say I was a pick me). It was a problem I had with myself. The need to be different stemmed from not seeing myself as good enough, or different enough. If I went against the grain, I would be noticed.

Yet here I am, going with that grain and so much happier for it. Because you know what being like the other girls truly means?

Celebrating others’ individuality and building each other up.

Whether that’s aesthetic differences, varying hobbies or completely different lifestyle choices – to be a woman is to celebrate those differences (as long as no harm’s being done, obviously) instead of berating others for them.

If someone dared to tell me I wasn’t like other girls now, I would find great joy in making them elaborate just exactly what they mean by that. Go on, just say you hate women and be done with it.

The most sacred relationships I have in my life are with women. They build me up, celebrate my wins, commiserate my losses, and make me feel like I’m part of something bigger and so much more important than just me. Where I may have previously been embarrassed to embrace my femininity, I now welcome it with open arms and proudly, proudly, proudly say I’m just like other girls. Because that’s exactly who I want to be.